She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
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