Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
