dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
