I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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