I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize