I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
