He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize