East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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