i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
