Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize