Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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