By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
