I need to stop coming to work sober
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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