Will you blow on my dice?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
