She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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