I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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