plz talk dirty to me
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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