Already got asked if we're dating
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
