I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
