bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
