first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
