I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
