he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
