After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize