she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
