Don't you send me to vm
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
