it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
