he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
