i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she peed on how many people?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
