We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
