We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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