Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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