How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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