So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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