I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
