also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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