Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i already hear my dad disowning me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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