She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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