its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Boobs speak an international language.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
