I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
