so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
