my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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