i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize