just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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