If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
