i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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