$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
