addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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