People with herpes should wear stickers.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
