Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize