chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
