Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
