you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
