Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize