He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
