he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
