'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wear drunk well.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
