i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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