I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
