I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
