On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
NoShamevember. You game?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
