Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
