I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
