think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
