Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
