exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize