And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
