I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
