Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
