i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
