his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
