Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My vagina is very pro this idea
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
