Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
