You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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