i need an iv and a liver transplant
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
