do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
