Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i came on her dog
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
