I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
