I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
